Twitter : Im out of the race

6 months ago I joined twitter, as many new converts do, I followed famous twits, Stephen Fry, Ashton Kutcher, Neil Gaiman , Alyssa Milano.  I didn't expect dialogue, with these people and of course, there was none. I was way too far behind the leaders. The formula 1 of the twitter race. I used twitter almost as a visible stream of consciousness, and along the way, I gained followers. I inturn followed these twits and so it went on. Relationships started to develop with these people, I discovered that, tweeting with ordinary tweeps, even if they didn't reveal their true identities was so much more rewarding than trailing behind the Twitter elite. I looked for people to tweet with that were involved in topics I care about. Nursing, especially mental health nursing, homelessness, human rights, and comedic writers. I stumbled upon a few fellow tweeters that I strongly identified with, and for a while was a member of our own elite gang. A member of a twitter subgroup. It was heady, exciting, and so, so addictive. Our leader, although he may not have recognised it, @willmarch was so irreverant, terribly funny (at times caustically so) and I thought so brave. Even behind the facade of a fake name and funny little animal avatar I kind of hero worshipped him and felt so privilaged when he seemed to find me entertaining also. I followed people he followed, and found such a diverse range of characters, who charmed and enthralled me. @AskJincCat, @destiny2711, @KatieMcCullough. I also found through a common interest in human rights, many courageous people tweeting to raise awareness of the terrible human rights abuse, torture and murder of Iranian election protesters. Good people all. @tonytrainor ,a fantastic reporter, became a twitter friend also. Some tweeters like Tony, the Iranian protesters group , Melvin, @traveldudes the well travelled, approachable guru of all thing travel related and and the irrepressible Katie McCullough, also, a lovely writer @natalieallan have become friends on my facebook network also. I stopped following the famous and also, eventually the not quite but aiming to be famous tweeps who would sometimes reply back. I spent every available on twitter and to be honest, not so available spare minutes (my house became a total shambles!). I say twitter is a race and the immediacy of the interaction can be frantic, and competitive. To have more followers than you follow became not so  much a goal, as a drive. I closed my account with 194 tweeps I followed, and 406 followers, and even though I'm a recovering twittaholic I still feel a measure of satisfaction at that level of success. (how sad am I? Early days yet, have some pity!) All human relationships can be complicated, even in the virtual world, and I have a very dodgy suspension of disbelief button (ask my husband or kids and they will tell you tis so very true) and so I wear my heart on my sleeve a lot, get over involved, believe in a level of shared imtimacy that is in my head rather than 'out there'. Three 'events' conspired to convince me to close my account earlier this week: my ex-husband expressed an interest in joining twitter, I have not shared a marriage for over 10 years with the man and so was repelled at the thought of him 'snooping' on my tweets, I got hacked in my DM (direct message) box and felt violated, and last but not least, I unforgivably offended Will March on Thursday evening, 12th November. He tweeted that he was closing his account. I had  been trying so hard to be 'entertaining' (look at me, I'm controversial and amusing), that I was actully cruel and insensitive. He got out of his 'twitter racecar' and quietly walked away. I was watching him in my rear view mirror, shouting, don't go I'm sorry, then I crashed and burned. End of. I moved to comparative safety of facebook, it is not as exhilerating or competitive (even the games are more friendly than cut-throat) more of a ramble down a country lane, with plenty of stops to look at the pictures than the furiously fast pace of the twitter highway, but, for now, I need to get out of the race and smell the roses. Also my dear, much put upon husband says he is glad to have me all to himself again :)